A newlywed truth

...when things get rough...

It is no secret that the state of the economy right has had a devastating effect on public education. Mike and I are both teachers and, although we make an effort not to talk about school related things all the time, this subject is difficult to avoid. I seem to be the lucky one because, by some grace of god, it looks like my position will be just fine (meaning I will almost positively have a job next year). Mike, however, seems to be pretty positive he will not have a job next year. Although there is a good chance we will be ok,we still have to talk about this situation. For starters, we need to make sure we understand the situation and Mike needs to talk about the frustration that goes along with the idea of losing your job. So here's the newlywed truth for this post- these conversations are very difficult... for both of us.

I wish I could say that I am a strong enough person to listen to my husband talk about his situation and console him the way a good wife should and then magically make it all better... but I'm not... I get angry... and my mind thinks about things that I'm ashamed of (I don't want to give up anything, why can't he just fix this). I'm not proud of these thoughts. I understand myself well enough to know that these thoughts are my initial reactions which always come to me as raw, selfish, and most of the time immature emotions. I know I need to give myself a minute before speaking to think clearly and move into a more responsible mindset. Mike is amazing and understands these things about me too (don't give us too much credit, we've been together for 6 1/2 years and this realization did not come without some very pointless and ridiculous arguments). Because we know this, he actually lets me voice these thoughts without judging me or getting angry. This job situation is really putting us to the test and we know the more we learn about dealing with tough situations now, the better off we'll be in the long run.

I'm learning that situations like this are no longer my situation, or Mike's situation, they're our situation. If Mike does end up without a job next year, I am 50% responsible for making it ok for us. If I'm 50% of the equation then, is it helpful for me to think or feel anything that is not going to help us through this? No, therefor I need to remain proactive. And that seems to be where I am now, I can recognize silly thoughts for what they are and overcome them by saying, "what can I do to help Mike, and us?"

Wow, I did not mean for that to become a Dr. Phil episode! It's true that some people enter a marriage thinking it will resemble a fairy tale. I honestly am not one of those people but that doesn't make tough stuff any easier to deal with. Even though we have this looming over our heads, it doesn't keep us from laughing and having fun with each other. One thing I am 100% certain of: there isn't anyone else I'd rather go through these things with than Mike.