Move kids, get off the bus, get off the bus kids, get off the bus!

Today was the oh-so-infamous bus evacuation day at my school (no these aren't my students, it's a generic pic). When I think back to my own bus evac. days all I remember is thinking the distance between the floor of the bus and the concrete I needed to reach for my landing seemed so far! Like so many things, this blessed event has a whole new meaning now that I am a teacher. If there is one thing I have learned its that, bus evacuation day, like so many things in an elementary school can be... unpredictable.

Picture this: 20some eager first graders ready to get on the big...bad...bus and 1 teacher trying to do all she can to avoid any management nightmares by scoping out the scene pre-boarding. So I get up to the door and the bus driver is lounging in the drivers seat and looks very happy to see me.

BD: Well howdy there young lady.

Me: Hi, would you like me to be on the bus or waiting outside for them?

BD: Well you know it's the teachers that have to demonstrate how to jump off the bus, have you been practicing your jumps? The more air the better? chuckle chuckle

Me (hoping to god he is trying to be funny): Oh yeah, of course, I practice my jumping on the weekends.

BD (all of a sudden sits up straight and becomes ultra serious): Are you also a paratrooper?

Me: ????WTF????

And... end scene

New picture: 20some eager first graders on a bus, 2 to a seat, all sitting (and bouncing) on their legs because they have been told to watch and listen well but can't see the bus driver because they are too short (they are so cute).

BD: Okay kids, today we are going to learn how to safely evacuate the bus in case of an emergency. An emergency on a bus can be a number of things... 

Me: Jaw clenches as I brace for what is coming

BD:... something inside the bus may catch fire in which case you would move to the nearest exit, the bus may flip on it's side...

Me: body tenses as I see 20some first graders trying to process what could possibly happen to a bus that would make it flip... or catch fire

BD: ... in which case you'd evacuate through the roof, or the bus may be rear ended and let me tell you something, kids listen closely, in some states, not this state or school district, but some states they don't even allow kids to sit in the back four seats because of an incident that happened with kids who were sitting in these seats, the bus was rear ended and all four kids...
takes off his hat and performs the sign off the cross and chokes a bit on his words...
may they rest in peace never stepped foot on another bus. 

Pure silence on the bus....
 silence I tell you... 
as 20some first graders process what Mr. Bus Driver, just said.

BD: So let's get started kids! 

And... end scene (I freakin kid you not!)

I'm pretty sure some of my first graders will be afraid of bus evacuation day for the rest of their elementary days... 

can't say I blame them.