Newlywed Truth #2...

In an attempt to give some consistency to my blogging, Mike suggested that I have a couple staple posts. Since this is an attempt at a newlywed blog, I've decided to give newlywed truths a try.

Newlywed truth #2...

let things go...

While chatting tonight, I asked Mike if he felt we had learned anything substantial during our 4 months of marriage. His response, "we've learned to let things go." This is so true so I will do my best to try and explain.

Mike and I have been together for 6 years and I can say in those 6 years, we definitely had our share of pointless arguments. The least effective part of pointless arguments is they reach a point where you don't know what you're arguing about anymore. The worst part of pointless arguments is they can ruin your plans (I know anyone reading this who's been in a relationship knows what I'm talking about). I'm not quite sure why this was but I honestly think a lot of it had to do with maturity.

During our marriage preparation one piece of advice we received was to argue effectively. What they meant by this was to remain focused on what the argument is about, come to an agreement or settlement, then move on. We took this advice to heart understanding that this it will allow us to keep the highest amount of respect for each other when one, or both, of us is angry. Now, when we have a disagreement we are careful to focus on only the part that is bothering us, nothing else. When we are finished with our discussion, we are finished with the issue, we let it go. It sounds easy, but it can be difficult. Mike does a better job at this than I do, I tend to be quite emotional, but I'm working through that. We also take time well after an argument (the next day or so) to talk about things that went well and things we need to improve. This may sound weird but it helps us open up a bit more because we know the argument and issue have been dealt with. We feel this time is valuable because if we don't talk about things that didn't go so well, they'll keep happening.

It's true, this isn't exactly the part of relationships they portray in fairytales. However, we are real people with real opinions and emotions, and sometimes these things conflict. We also understand that life is only going to become more complicated as the years go on. Every effort we make now will help us in the long run.