A New Parent Truth

Surviving the 1st Trimester






So once the pregnancy was confirmed I found myself craving information. Especially since, as noted in this last post, you're sort of left to your own devices to navigate those early weeks. As I've said before, Mike and I are cautious people so we told our parents our news but that was it. No one else knew and no one else was going to know until we had confirmation that this was a viable pregnancy (I told you we're obnoxious :). I did get some information from my doctor (the biggest question I asked when she called was, "what could happen that I, hands down, should not ignore?" and she said, "blood. Any sign of blood, call." She also went on to say, "there are a LOT of things that fall under the 'normal' category during this time so try to stay calm.") I was thankful for her advice but still felt very alone. Mike was obviously as clueless as I was so I turned to the internet for some answers which actually did help.

Everyday Family, Baby Center, and The Bump were all websites I found to be helpful during this time. Each website breaks down pregnancy by week so you can read new information week-by-week as you progress. It tells you about the baby and typical symptoms mom may be experiencing. Two things I learned quickly: the symptoms mentioned are those most commonly experienced by pregnant women at the time and should not be read as all inclusive. I read it this way and since I only found myself experiencing say 2 of the 5 symptoms listed it made me paranoid (alas, things turned out to be fine and normal, go figure). Also, use caution when reading the comments people leave at the bottom of these updates. Women express all kinds of emotions and go into great detail about their symptoms which can be helpful but also a little awkward. Lastly, I spent hours on these sights reading up on all things baby partly because the internet was like a trusted friend at this time and partly because I really wasn't doing much of anything else during this time. Thus bringing me to symptoms, woes, and general survival tactics from my 1st trimester experience.

The biggest thing I learned during these 8 weeks: It was easier than I thought it'd be.
The second thing I learned: Everyone is different and everyone has had or will have a different experience in some ways or many ways.
The #1 symptom every woman prepares for dreads is nausea and vomiting so that's what I kept waiting for however, vomiting never happened for me. I never once tossed my cookies which I realize makes me very lucky but I think it's also important to point out that not every woman experiences this symptom even though we're made to believe it's inevitable, it will suck, and there's nothing you can do about it.

I did have nausea but it wasn't in the morning it was in the evening. I woke up completely fine every day. I had aversions to food like cereal and coffee which totally threw me for a loop because these are my morning staples. I substituted a bagel with cream cheese for my daily cereal (I had read somewhere that having a rich breakfast can help curb morning sickness so even though I wasn't experiencing any, I figured it couldn't hurt) and water. I made it through my days at work just fine though I was hungrier throughout the day so I packed more snacks than usual. My nausea set in each night around 5pm and that's when figuring out what to eat for dinner became next to impossible. Shamelessly, I ended up eating chicken flavored Ramen noodles, Campbell's chicken noodle soup, and plain white rice for dinner most nights from weeks 6-11. One night I ate only saltine crackers because nothing else sounded good but I felt too guilty not eating anything (seriously, not even "guilty pleasure" foods like junk food sounded appealing). Thankfully I didn't experience any smell aversions so Mike was free to make whatever he wanted I just couldn't stomach the thought of eating any of it. Just before Thanksgiving I noticed my nausea subsiding considerably (around 11 weeks) and by Thanksgiving time I was eating normal food again. Since then I've had random nights here and there where I feel nauseous but nothing like these first few weeks.

The first two symptoms I experienced where sore boobs and peeing constantly. The first is a total crock because I have very small boobs and they hurt like they've never hurt before. They were also itchy which was another crock because I'd have to hold my breath to itch them because they hurt so bad. This lasted for 20 weeks or so, so after a while I got used to the pain. They don't hurt anymore. Peeing constantly has unfortunately just become a new normal. I drink a lot of water during the day (always have) so I pee a lot anyways but apparently your body produces more fluid than ever before when you're growing a human which means you need to pee more anyways. Also, fun fact, the baby starts to pee somewhere along the line, so you get the added pleasure of being their release when this happens. Isn't that funny think about :).

One symptom I have yet to read about anywhere is itchy skin. I did read that it's likely your skin can dry out but my back particularly was so itchy it felt like a bad sunburn (not burning wise, just itchy). I bought some skin calming lotion specifically for itchy, irritated skin and lathered that on twice a day in the beginning which helped. My scalp was also really itchy so I had to field off a lot of weird looks and questions about whether I had lice in the beginning. That was fun :). This hasn't been an issue since about 15 weeks or so.

Fatigue is also a common symptom mostly in the beginning but I've also read that it comes and goes throughout the whole pregnancy. Let's just say between going to bed between 9-10pm (I used to go to bed at 10:30-11 each night) and taking a nap daily, this is definitely something I've experienced to some degree the whole time. It's crazy to think about all the things your body is doing, especially in the beginning, so it's no wonder you're exhausted. I also noticed around week 20 or so that I was definitely... heavier. Regardless of number of lbs. gained, weight gain is inevitable and your body is bound to notice going from pre-pregnancy weight to 5, 10, 15, 20, and so on pounds heavier in a matter of weeks. Walking up stairs, walking fast, getting in and out of bed or the car, standing up after crouching down are all situations where I notice I'm heavier than I used to be. That makes you tired too and certainly out of breath and in need of a break here and there.

The final symptom I feel everyone needs to know about and is not widely talked about is cramping. Holy sh*t did I experience cramping in the first 2-3 weeks after finding out. Much to my dismay, I found very little information about cramping that didn't scare me to death because cramping is associated with miscarriage in everything I read. It wasn't until I read The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy (which I highly recommend, it's quite funny) and found a page on round ligament pain that I felt any sense of relief. Sometimes my cramps felt identical to period cramps and other times they felt like sharp pains jabbing into every part of my stomach region. One time I felt a cramp and then what felt like a *snap* on my left side. It totally freaked my out. I remember coming home that day and crying on the couch because I had no idea what was going on. I never had any spotting or bleeding so I knew that was a good thing but I also knew I was really uncomfortable and didn't know why. Well, now I know the sharp pains and snap were most likely round ligament pain which come as your uterus is forming and stretching to make room for the little nugget. I also know that feeling like you're going to get your period any second is a very common sign of early pregnancy. If you're feeling either of these or both, rest assured, you're okay. When we finally made it to our first OB appointment I told every nurse and doctor I came across about this and told them that more women need to know about it because it sure can make you paranoid. Lastly, cramping is also associated with dehydration while pregnant which I also experienced slightly around 18-20 weeks. Drinking more water than you ever have before helps :).

I also remember hearing a lot of women talk about how "fast" the first trimester goes to which I promptly thought, "um, that's crap. 12 weeks is a long freakin time any way you slice it in my book." And you know what, it is. But you want to know what else, it still goes by fast. Especially if you're one of the lucky ones whose symptoms do subside around the time they should. Also keep in mind that when you find out you're pregnant you're already most likely 3-4 weeks in (because they calculate your weeks from the date of your last period and not from the day of conception or the day you find out). Fear not, the 12 weeks can be conquered plus reaching the end of the 1st trimester is a big milestone for most pregnancies as your risk for miscarriage decreases dramatically. Finally telling people our news was exciting and definitely helped the shock subside because it suddenly became more real. People's reactions and genuine care and concern still surprises me to this day and it's really sweet to see and hear how excited people are for you.

Symptoms aside, there were also obvious lifestyle changes I had to get used to pretty fast. No longer drinking, not feeling up for much after 5-6pm, the impending expansion of my mid section, and a general flurry of thoughts, questions, and concerns became the norm. I spent my time in a constant swing between shock, excitement, thankfulness, complete indifference, fear, and mourning for our single life that was rapidly becoming a distant memory. Please don't get me wrong, I am and we are so very excited for this new stage in our lives but it's important to point out this is also a huge change. I think a certain amount of pressure exists for pregnant woman to express nothing but joy and happiness every step of the way but a certain amount of nervousness should be just as accepted (if not encouraged!). As I've progressed and can now feel the baby moving, have seen the baby on screen through ultrasounds, and have physical evidence of it's existence in the form of my ever growing body I feel more excitement than any other emotion I felt in the beginning. I'm thankful this process doesn't happen over night :).

I have one last note I'd like to end on and it comes in the form of advice (which I'm not too fond of but this one I really think is important to note). If this is your first pregnancy, in the interest of saving you some money, do not buy maternity clothes yet. You won't fill them out and you really won't need them yet. Also keep in mind that by the time you really can't fit into your "normal" clothes it'll be a different season and styles/clothing needs will be different. If you do feel your pants becoming tighter, invest in Belly Bands. I bought mine from Target where they're very reasonably priced and they'll do the trick for both jeans and any work bottoms you wear. Also, American Apparel makes these high waist leggings which can also work wonders during this time. They're very comfortable and actually, at 30 weeks, I can still wear them (though I won't be able to wear them after pregnancy because they'll be too stretched out but I'm over it). Just my two cents, everyone is different and that's okay too.