A Newlywed Truth

Riding in Cars With Boys

During our dating years, Mike's mom told me a story about little Mike. She told me how, whenever she needed to talk with him about something, whether it be something that happened at school or one of 'moms life lessons', she always planned to do so during a car ride, with just the two of them. My mind filled with a scene with little Mike sitting in the back seat barely able to see out the window with his legs swinging because he can't sit still nor do his feet reach the floor of the car. I pictured Mike's mom, the all knowing driver strategically phrasing everything, while Mike unknowingly told his mom everything she needed to hear. I found this offer of a glimpse into the Mike I never knew incredibly touching. Little did I know, she was also giving me some fantastic marital advice. 

Case in point... our car ride to Minnesota last weekend for Leah's wedding. Mike is driving and I'm riding shotgun.

We reach Ankeny, about 10 miles north of Des Moines when I turn to Mike and say, "I've been meaning to ask you, how do you feel about our money situation (a little background, we determined a while back that Mike was to be in charge of our day-to-day money and I was to be in charge of our long term goals... more on this later)?" 

To which he answered, "Oh, great, it seems to be working well."

Which lead to a conversation about our communication, which he feels is working quite well, which led to a story about some of the things going on at his school, which he explained was an example of communication not going so well, this led to a detailed reenactment of one of his team meetings in which things certainly did not go well, leading to Mike's perspective on where he stands with his team, leading quite obviously into his role as a leader in his building, at which point he expressed some things he really likes about his school and it's leadership and then eventually led back around to us and how well he feels things are between us.

I should probably mention that while I listened to this we had traveled approximately 42 miles. whoah

Upon reflection of this soliloquy I realized, he talked more during this part of our drive than he has ever before in one sitting during our entire relationship (okay that may not be true, but as far as I can recall, it's a fact), and we take a lot of car trips! I really don't even think he felt he needed to get a lot of that stuff off of his chest because he wasn't upset by any of it, he was just talking.

So, from this I can conclude two things... there's something about riding in a car that still makes Mike feel free to talk which I actually find quite endearing and as we grow old together there will probably come a time where I will see the need for discrete yet effective ear plugs... although by that time it probably won't be safe for us to drive anymore... oh well. =)